Cold hands, warm shart.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
