oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
