I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
