I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I enjoy the company of your penis
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