Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
