Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
