Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
