Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
