Whod you bang
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a search helicopter?!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
