my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
