whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
