Me. At least after what I've been through.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
