Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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