Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
