Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it hurts more in the daytime
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
