The maid of honor just puked.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
