At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have post one night stand depression
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
