The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
