I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you didnt know i had herpes?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
