Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
A+ Viking dick
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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