its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
