Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
