I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I understand Curling. That high.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
