Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
