i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
