I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
