Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
