rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
