If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
