the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
