Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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