honey bunches of taint.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
