but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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