I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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