YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
