Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
tell me about the eggs
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
