just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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