We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
