do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
