it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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