***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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