just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
