yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
