idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
A+ Viking dick
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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