drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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