I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
