Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
