I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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