Are we in a gay sports bar?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
