I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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