Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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